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• Things to Ponder •
 
  1. Warm Kool-Aid always tastes like piss.
  2. Don't be so paranoid because they are all out to get you!
  3.  Puke always has diced carrots in it.
  4. American Beer, Oxymoron
  5. That guy in the pool change room is not admiring your muscles!
  6. Purple is not a flavour.
  7. Shopping is not fun.
  8. "Think, Think, Think" --Winne the Pooh
  9. There are 7 colours in the rainbow.
  10. No I didn't spell "colours" wrong.
  11. Blondes float.
  12. SPAM is the only lunch meat that ham a recycled symbol on the can.
  13. Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.
  14. Hitler was a jew.
  15. The internet is just a bunch of horny guys asking, "Are you really a girl?"
  16. When McDonalds drops your burger on the floor, don't complain they are just adding seasonings.
  17. Your epidermis is showing
  18. Your blood has rusted.
  19. Santa Clause should be arrested for breaking and entering.
  20. Your parents will never buy you a pony!   :*-(
  21. Zippers freeze!
  22. Cats are people too.
  23. Sheep are not!
  24. Watermelon is a vegetable.
  25. Men have uvulas too.
  26. Should women wear those "Got Milk?" shirts?
  27. Head Cheese is not a milk product.
  28. The American Government is not a Democracy!
  29. If they are that big, they have to be fake.
  30. Just because "Black History Month" in the shortest month of the year, doesn't mean they are getting shafted.
  31. Baby oil does not come from babes.
  32. Jerry Springer is not a Man.
  33. Wood is my favorite semi-porse material.
  34. If dogs think they are people, do people think that they are dogs?
  35. In Canada, not everyone lives in an Igloo. (At least not in the summer)
  36. Yes, lightning strikes twice!
  37. Nobody wins in a butter eating contest.
  38. Sharks have two penises (or would that be peni?)
  39. You have to lick a lot of carpet to be a lesbian.
  40. Behold the power of cheese
  41. Gold Fish crackers don't have fish in them.
  42. Old Spice: The sixth spice girl.
  43. 3 guys, or not 3 guys: That is the question Hanson!
  44. I can't believe its not butter.
  45. Tickle-me-Elmo, is just an interactive vibrator.
  46. The 3 scariest words in Nagano this winter are:  I am BROKE.
  47. In Japan, Sailor Moon is a prostitute.
  48. Its really hard for a guy to fake an orgasm.
  49. I live in a van down by the river.  (SNL Joke)
  50. It doesn't belong in your face, if it doesn't get all over the place.
  51. It is illegal to move a cow in India.
  52. I don't care what they say, it still tastes like tofu.
  53. Pocahontas and John Smith never met.
  54. I killed Moufassa!
  55. Where is the cream filling?
  56. Smoking causes impatience.
  57. If I were a canned food, I would be Beef-a-roni.
  58. In Canada, it is illegal to pay a debt of more than 25 cents im pennies.
  59. What does ICQ Stand for?
  60. What is the meaning of life?
  61. Who took the cookie from the cookie jar?
  62. How many times does a woman fake it?
  63. Mad cows disease is a cover up for the aliens.
  64. What do teachers actually do after school?
  65. Is scary spice female or male?
  66. Gay does not mean your like a person from the same sex.  It means you are very happy.
  67. Aslong as you don't inhale, It's not adultry.
  68. I found out what ICQ stands for. I Seek you. (pritty lame eh?)
  69. Impatents is heredetary.
  70. If I were a large green melon with a red inside and lots of black seeds... I would be a cantalope
  71. It's not a bug it's a flaw dammit (Intell Inc.)
  72. Every begening comes from some other begenings end (Closing Time, Semisonic)
  73. Froot Loops are not Fruit Loops
  74. Muffins spelled bacwkards is Sniff Um
  75. I did not have sexual relations with that woman.  (Bill Clinton)
  76. Milhouse likes Vasoline on Toast.  (The Simpsons)
  77. 90% of Canada's population is along the US/Canada Border
  78. Yes this is number 78!